What’s a divorce?

Radha: Aai, What does divorce mean?

Me: Divorce is a fight. When a mom and a dad fight, they decide to stay in two different houses and then it’s called a divorce.

Radha: But everybody fights. That doesn’t mean they go and stay in separate houses every time.

Me: You are right. But then we also resolve our fights. You, me, dada, Baba everybody fights with each other. But after a while we make up and start laughing with each other. We forget our fights. Some people cannot forget their fights. They cannot forgive each other. And hence they cannot stay together. That is when they decide to stay separate.

Radha: Okay then, is this good or bad? Why does everyone suddenly become quite when the word divorce is mentioned? Why is there so much tension all around when people speak about divorce?

Me: We cannot decide what is right and what is wrong. It all depends on the person and the situation at that time. Sometimes we take wrong decisions.

Radha: But then, don’t people understand that they are taking wrong decisions?

Me: No, they don’t. Didn’t you like dresses with flowery prints till last year? You don’t like them anymore. This year you are wearing only jeans. You used to love Gulab jamuns till a few days back. But now you don’t relish them at all. We change with age, our likings change, so do our preferences. The situations around us change. It’s exactly like that.

Radha : So then you and Baba never felt like divorcing each other?

Me: Should I tell you the truth? We have felt this a hundred times. We disagree a lot, we fight a lot, You see that, don’t you? But in spite of all this, our friendship is intact. We are still good friends with each other. We are still in love. We forget our fights and move on. And that is why we are still together.

Radha: So there is nothing wrong in getting separated?

Me: No. Better to stay ‘separated and happy’ rather than ‘together and sad’. Don’t you think?

Radha : But then why does everybody say that divorce is bad?

Me: We are nobody to decide what is right or wrong. It is the decision of that person and we should respect it. Many a times we do not know the whole story. We judge the book only by its cover.

Radha: That means, Prajakta, my school friend, should not feel bad while speaking about her parents’ divorce, right?

Me: Of course she is going to feel bad. Every child in this world wants both, a mother and a father. But it’s not possible every time. This is what you can do. You can see to it that you don’t make her feel worse while speaking about the separation. You must take care not to react negatively and judge her parents’ decision. It’s fine, sometimes things just don’t work our way. Got it?

Radha: Hm. Got it.

Image by Jo-B from Pixabay 

Gauri Brahme
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Gauri Brahme

गेली वीस वर्षे पुणे विद्यापीठाच्या परकीय भाषा विभागात जर्मन भाषेची अध्यापिका म्हणून काम करते. अमराठी लोकांना मराठी शिकवते. भरपूर लिहिते, वाचते, कलाकुसरीच्या वस्तू बनवते, खादाडी करते, इतरांना खिलवते. लेखिका म्हणून नावावर २ पुस्तकं जमा आहेत.

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